Posted by David Hardy on Nov 25, 2018

Grace: Alan Meredith

Anthem: Barry

Attendance: 17

Plus

Two guests:

Keith Nugara  – Telus

Yao Yao – Bank of Montreal

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS

President Donna announced the she and Assistant District Governor Gerd went to the District Assembly and received a banner that celebrated the North Scarborough Rotary Club as one of 1,500 Clubs in the world to have all members contribute to the R. I. Foundation.

Jim Boyko auctioned off two hockey tickets for November 24th.  Dave Hardy was the successful bidder.

Dr. Arthur Retnakaran thanked members for almost completing all of the distribution of the gloves to Scarborough elementary schools.

Dave Hardy announced that the Scarborough Hospital Network is launching its new brand this afternoon. The Scarborough Community Renewal Organization is holding an anchor institution lecture 9:00 am at Centennial College Hospitality Centre on Saturday November 24th on the topic of “Reimaging Toronto's Community Councils – presented by Alexandra Flynn, an Assistant Professor in the City Studies program at the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus.  He also announced that his mother, 88-year-old Frances Hardy had completed two rounds of calls to former auction bidders.   As she had been a telemarketer for the last 10 years of her working career, she reported that the calls went well.  Regretfully, Dave reported that when Fran phones family members, they now have a tendency to hang up on her.

Gerd announced his sadness at learning of the animals that were euthanized in parallel to the Polio Eradication campaign.  Dave Hardy pointed out that well over 100 Rotary workers had also been killed.  Gerd also graced the Club with a $10,000 donation from Brook Restoration.  Dave and Donna will get thank you letters out to both Park Property and Brook Restoration.

Basil announced that the Rotary TV Auction Team is still looking for volunteers.  Peter Masson said that he and Joan were conflicted due to the family taking them out for a special dinner.  Jim asked how to use the Interweb to bid on items.  Gordon reported that the November 29th meeting will be dedicated to the Auction.

SERGEANT-AT-ARMS

 

Gerd fined everyone who did not remember that today was the 50th anniversary of the Beatles “White Album”.

 

It was Gordon’s 40th birthday and the Club sang Happy Birthday.

 

 

PROGRAM

There’s no easy way to say it but to come straight out.  On 22 November 2018, the Program for the North Scarborough Rotary Club hit a new low.

Serving as Sergeant-at-Arms and the person appointed to introduce the speaker, sharp-eyed Gerd Wengler observed that, indeed, the speaker had not shown up.  Being a master at improvisation, Gerd decided to pull together a Program by selecting an item for causal discussion. Members watched anxiously as Gerd considered possible topics to discuss:  Recent Nobel Prize winners?   The latest astronomical discoveries?   Why Bob Dylan produced a Christmas Album?  No.  Instead Gerd sought to both impress fellow Rotarians with the depth of his causal reading habits and kick-off the discussion by mentioning that an article he just read pointed out that the Wombat has cube shaped poop.

Image result for Wombat has cube shaped poop

Apparently, this was an item of great fascination for North Scarborough Rotary Club members and they broke into small discussion groups.  President Donna had to quiet down one group led by engineer Basil Dias that was at the same time arguing how high square Wombat poop could be stacked.  And, a second group involving Rocco Colangelo and Jim Boyko discussing whether the poop from different wombat species would be different colours and could be shaped to form a checker board.  A third group was deep into a brainstorm session on the possible human uses of Wombat poop.  After several minutes both groups came to a consensus that they needed to know more about how square poop is formed.

 

Fulbright Scholar, the esteemed scientist Dr. Arthur Retnakaran, took the floor. 

Image result for Colon Sphincter cartoon Using his left hand, he used his thumb and index finger to show the workings of a sphincter (muscle in colon).  Using the index finger of his right hand, and pushing the index finger through the sphincter modeled by his left hand, he showed the flow of excrement through the bowls and exiting the anus.  He opened and closed his thumb and index finger several times, grabbing the tip of his index finger demonstrating that indeed, a healthy and muscular sphincter could indeed form square poop.  Members gave him a loud round of applause, as they thanked him for teaching them that marsupials can indeed poop in cubes. 

   

President Donna once again had to intervene and quiet down a lively discussion, this time on which animals ate their own excrement and why?  Apparently, incoming President Barry was aware that rabbits are prime culprits.  Always aware of what’s going on around her, Donna was first to pick up that the topic of eating excrement was in full swing at the same time that servers from JC’s were serving the food.  

Seeking to balance out the discussion of excrement entering the mouth with excrement entering the other end of the body Dr. Arthur Retnakaran sought to elevate members scientific understanding by explaining that doctors were now taking the patients own excrement and shoving it back up their behinds.  The reporter got lost at this point, being stuck on the image of how this might be done and whether it would hurt.   

Once lunch was served and the restaurant’s waiter had exited, members returned to the issue, this time focusing on the recall of romaine lettuce.   After members examined whether their meals came with romaine lettuce they concluded the discussion with the observation that C-difficile and E-Coli on the romaine lettuce, if consumed could be a rather risky but effective way of cleaning out ones lower intestine.

 

Image result for HomerAt this point, your humble reporter could no longer take notes…

 

 

 

  This day in History:

Image result for November 22 in history